February 2012
43 posts
The truth is
that I’m probably not okay. But that’s not so bad. I have so many things on my to-do list anyway. The more I hate myself, the more of them I’ll get done and the quicker they will get done. All I have to do is stop hating myself when I finally am the person I so desperately wanted to be. I removed you from the list, by the way. You don’t get to be a part of my plan anymore....
Well what makes you think she wants to marry you?
She doesn’t. In fact, she doesn’t like me.
You know what the best part is?
You called me in the middle of the night, but it was still him I dreamt about. And I know what I dreamt can never happen. He’s a good guy, and he knows what he wants. But I think that’s why I find him so attractive in the first place.
Kiss me for goodness sake
Just kiss me.
You're getting better
You’re not there yet, but I can see the glimpses of you being happy. I see it flash in those eyes. But the fact is that we aren’t getting any better. You’re making different choices. You’re not going to choose me. And the sad thing is that I really do love you. But I don’t want to anymore. I don’t want to be confused with you or like you when you aren’t...
And that means maybe
Just maybe, I was your last thought last night and your first one this morning.
I love knowing that you read my blog
But you used to read my mind.
And that was so much better.
Goodbye doesn't mean I love you any less
Casey Becker probably never was the center of my life. He probably never felt a connection when our eyes met. I seriously doubt I floated in and out of his dreams or his life plans. He never considered changing anything to make my life better or my smile bigger. Casey Becker probably doesn’t know my middle name. He probably never framed our prom pictures. Casey Becker is still a beautiful...
Change
My writing used to be so structured, my audience limited until it was really just a party of one. Even my outlet scared me because people could see me, and all the work I did at pretending would fall apart if people saw truth. But that’s not me. And I’m so sick of being scared. So here’s to sharing the truth with anyone who cares.
Life is a vagina.
People are penises;
They come in and out,
Over and over again
Until you’re both tired and finished.
I am not waiting for perfection
I do not want a perfect life.
I do not want to be a stay at home mom.
I do not even know that I want to have my own kids.
I do not want to have a traditional wedding.
I do not want to wear shoes everyday.
I do not want to give up on my dreams for someone else.
I do not want to be afraid to be honest.
I want to tell everything exactly how it is.
I want to chase the things that matter to...
